Photos

Still trying to understand where I lost you.
Or maybe how long you and me were true.

If I could go back in time
Does the moment exist in which if I changed the past, the future would have been different?

Was any path ment to end?

Seems like the future was so close in the past, the past so near the present and the future is so far from the present.

Miss ya my friend.

Draft of 4/04

---Draft---

[P2]

We walk together, close and side by side

You're next to me, but your stare gives you away

Your attention is not here, you don't hear a word I say

I look at you and can't but smile

This warm feeling, that I forgot, 

because I lost is for a while

[P1]

A cold breeze wakes me up with a pleasant push

I look at you, so beautiful

And notice a soft blush

This all seems so simple and unreal

That my mind does not want to accept

The way you make me feel

What's behind those wondering eyes

Uncertain truth or unspoken lies?

What's behind that smile of yours

warming feelings

or pity and remorse?

I come in and see you there

wondering what's going on

Behind those eyes that look at me

fear, doubt, happiness?

Now it's gone

Are you hiding yourself to pleasure me

or is it just uncertainty?

Do you still know who you are

or are your lost in your own head

Thinking about every little detail

till eyes closed you go to bed?

Do you still know who I'm

or did you create a fantasy

which will always work

even if it isn't the real me?

Do I still know what I'm doing here

or I'm lost in my own head

too busy contemplating

till eyes closed I go to bed?

Are you thinking about me

or is it just passing by in our head

Seeming more during the moment

but fading when eyes closed we go to bed?

Eyes open I wake up

knowing nothing more

than when I left the world, last evening

feeling just as sour

During day, I close my eyes

and wonder about what is and shouldn't be

or what should be, but right know, just is not me

Troubled mind, when the sun fades away

Too many visualisations in my head

But Luckely at the end of day

Eyes closed, I go to bed.

Tekening

My kingdom still stands firm

My walls still look stern

My towers still talk to the sky

No square with a well run dry

The harbor still a crowd

The market still as loud

The fields still get ploughed

The rythm of the work never laid still.

But in the castle, lies the prince

Silent on the floor

Staring at a painting

Which ment so much before

His tears following the trail

of the cut sliced in the canvas

Frowning about this betrail

Crying over what it once was

492

00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,280

Sam...

493

00:28:44,560 --> 00:28:46,690

Did you cheat on her?

494

00:28:46,710 --> 00:28:50,300

Over the years, there have been temptations,

495

00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,590

but, no...

496

00:28:52,620 --> 00:28:53,400

I didn't.

497

00:28:53,420 --> 00:28:57,020

Was there a lot of fighting or...

498

00:28:57,050 --> 00:28:59,760

Hardly ever.

499

00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:02,700

Honestly...

500

00:29:03,380 --> 00:29:06,540

It was bad, what I did.

501

00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:11,140

I have no good reason.

502

00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,330

I woke up one day...

503

00:29:14,430 --> 00:29:17,450

And I couldn't do it anymore.

504

00:29:17,550 --> 00:29:20,510

It wasn't even a choice.

505

00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:24,310

I had a thought...

506

00:29:24,370 --> 00:29:26,820

Next thing you know...

507

00:29:26,860 --> 00:29:29,600

I'm burning it all down.

508

00:29:29,630 --> 00:29:32,990

I left her.

509

00:29:33,020 --> 00:29:36,600

I don't know why.

510

00:29:36,630 --> 00:29:39,210

I don't know why.

511

00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:43,420

- What kind of a person does that?

- Hell if I know.

My mind is hunted

short days, long nights

By the haunting thoughts

of a loved sight

Although it feels right

That I turned away

Leaving you alone

Troubles my every day

No future left, that I could see

We would have crashed in time

So I did what felt like truth to me

And left you all alone to cry

[Chorus]

You ask me why I go away

Why I don't fight and stay

And I stare you in the eyes, [Fast resume]

Loosen your hands from my own ties 

Let my kiss whisper goodbye

And I left you alone to cry

To cry...

Goodbye...

I still hear your tears

Falling on the floor

When I walked away

And closed that door

Now my troubled soul

Wonders how you are

What I left inside

And if you will survive

I see you dying there 

Right in front of me

And there's nothing I can do

Cause I'm your misery

[Chorus]

I wish I could come to you

Save you from your pain

Be the friend you need

But that would be insane

I can only hope

That you don't destroy,

every memory

That's still so precious to me

And if you end up hating me

It's the price I have to pay

For not still loving you and lie

but leaving you alone to cry...

to cry...

We 've been walking the road

and enjoyed every step

Now we've reached the crossroad

where time stands still

Till this moment this felt so right

But today I stay stunned

To discover how far I came

Without questioning to be sane

I've been to places I never came before

and my gratitude will be every lasting

But it's time to go home again

To be my trueself once more